Perimenopause Euphoria: A Different Way of Thinking About Midlife

When it first dawned on me that I was entering perimenopause, my immediate reaction was:

Repulsion.

Absolutely NOT.

My life had only just started to feel like I'd levelled up in a really radical way.

And I've always been a rebel with a fairly low tolerance for other people's definitions of me, so the idea that I had apparently arrived at the beginning of my decline didn't sit particularly well.

My body was changing.

That part was real.

But the story I'd been given about what those changes meant felt increasingly suspicious.

Then all my fucks flew out the window

Something started happening when I turned 40.

It was as though I woke up one morning and discovered that all my fucks had flown out the window.

Things I'd tolerated for years became intolerable.

I became more discerning.

More independently minded.

More interested in what I actually believed.

And considerably less willing to override what my body was telling me in order to make my life convenient for everybody else.

That's when I realised:

I'm not rebelling against perimenopause.

I'm rebelling against the picture we've been painted of it.

Because decline wasn't the only thing happening here.

Something was waking up.

Qigong gave me another way to meet my body

I've spent years working with movement and the body, but Qigong has given me a particularly useful way of relating to change.

Qigong means, very simply, the cultivation of Qi — our vital energy.

The question therefore becomes less:

How do I stop my body from changing?

and more:

How do I work with this changing energy?

I started to get really into the energetics of perimenopause.

Where is it flowing?

Where am I depleted?

Where am I holding on?

What actually nourishes me?

What am I no longer willing to spend my life-force on?

Those are very different questions.

Perimenopause is a portal…

None of this means the physical symptoms of perimenopause aren't real.

Pain is real.

Hot flushes are real.

Insomnia is real.

Fatigue is real.

I'm not interested in putting a spiritual bow on suffering and calling it empowerment.

What interests me is the possibility that our symptoms and the story we tell about ourselves because we're experiencing those symptoms don't have to be the same thing.

My body can need support without becoming my enemy.

I can seek medical care without treating myself like a broken machine.

I can change without calling that change decline.

What if this is a threshold?

The longer I've spent in this phase of my life, the less interested I've become in getting back to who I was before it.

I don't want to go backwards.

I like this woman.

She's more discerning.

She's more creative.

She's considerably harder to bullshit.

And she's learning that her energy is precious.

Qigong has become one of the ways I practise that relationship with myself.

Not because I think perimenopause needs to be defeated.

But because I want to meet this transition with as much vitality, curiosity and self-trust as I can.

So from now on make mine perimenopause euphoria, please!

Maybe it's asking us to become much more particular about what we give our aliveness to, which is why I’ll be at Margate Yoga Studio on September 19th opening the gateway to a new way of seeing perimenopause! Check it out!

If you would like support to navigate a season of change check out The Gold Standard 💖